In order to celebrate my last ten days as "thirty-something", I decided to look back into the history. (Certainly more fun than trying to figure out the future... or what's left of it anyhow... nah, just kidding.) I traced down MY FIRST EVER COMMENT on a internet social network of any kind. It was in alt.fan.neil-gaiman, and the date was August 10th 2000.
You can find it here.
Now, the tracing was quite simple actually... I just Googled "Jouniac" and "elephant spunk"
...yes, elephant spunk... it's a long story... oh, for crying out loud, read the comment thread if you're so interested!